sneakend

Rating: T

Words: 1,498

Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Amusement Parks, Established Relationship, First Dates, Fluff, Roller Coasters, Narcolepsy

On ao3

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"Tell me this is not happening," Killer groaned as the rollercoaster came to a sudden stop just when they were conveniently hanging upside down.

Next to him, Kid let out a laugh as if the situation didn't bother him at all. "But it is. Hey, take a picture of me, I wanna send it to Law."

"Who brings their cell phone on a rollercoaster," Killer asked while trying to avoid choking on his own long hair that was now covering his face. He'd have to tie it up next time. Although he wasn't planning on setting foot on another rollercoaster for a long time after this.

"You didn't bring yours? Use mine," Kid said, already rummaging through his coat.

It'd serve him right if he dropped his fancy phone on the ground, Killer thought. From this height, it'd shatter into a thousand pieces.

"Ace. Hey, Ace!" a distressed voice from behind them caught Killer's attention. "Come on!"

He turned around—as much as the situation permitted—to address the two men sitting behind them. "Are you guys okay?"

"I think he's unconscious, he's not responding to me," the older one with a strange haircut told him.

"Does he have any illnesses or something? It should take longer than this to lose consciousness just from hanging upside down," Killer said.

"Not as far as I know, but we've only just met."

"You sure he's not dead? Maybe check his pulse," Kid interjected casually.

"That's helpful," Killer hissed at him. The man seriously lacked tact.

"Please, this is our first date, it's bad enough without anyone dying," the stranger said in a worried tone.

"Date, huh? I've heard it said adversity brings people together, you might end up married," Kid continued contributing absolutely nothing of value to the conversation.

"This is hardly the time for relationship advice, Kid," Killer pointed out. Not that he'd ever want to take relationship advice from someone who was dating Trafalgar.

"Okay, smartass, what else is there to do? In case you didn't notice we're stuck up here." Kid emphasized his point by kicking Killer in the shin.

"Well," Killer said, fighting the urge to kick back, "we could try bringing this man's medical emergency to someone's attention."

At that, Kid's face lit up. "Good thinking, Killer!" He waved an arm towards the stranger behind them to get his attention. "Hey, dude, I'll call my boyfriend, he's a doctor, he'll know what to do."

"That's not what I meant!" Killer snapped.

"I'd appreciate it," the stranger said, "since the employees don't seem to care. And you can call me Marco."

That much was true. The people below were meandering around lazily as if this was a daily occurrence. Nobody seemed to be panicking and trying to get them down as fast as possible. How long was it safe to hang upside down anyway? Without his phone Killer couldn't exactly check the internet and he wasn't about to relay the question to Law.

It didn't take long for Kid to dial Law—and of course, he picked up immediately.

"Hey, what's up? You busy?" Kid said, his tone disturbingly soft. "Uh-huh. Yeah. Guess where I am. More specific. How the fuck did you guess? Aww, you really do care. I'd have Killer confirm but he'd probably drop the phone just to make a point."

Killer cleared his throat audibly, hoping Kid would take a hint.

Kid shot him an annoyed look. "Oh yeah, there's a guy, Ace something or the other, that's knocked out, presumably not dead, thought we'd consult you on the case, doc." There was a significant pause as Kid listened to something Law was saying, too low for Killer to pick up. "His boyfriend doesn't know. I don't think so. I'll ask," Kid said and snapped his fingers towards the man behind them. "Yo, what's the dead man's whole name?"

"Portgas D. Ace," Marco replied immediately, "why?"

"That is his name," Kid said into the phone, entirely ignoring Marco's question, "are you a fucking psychic?"

The phone call didn't seem to be ending at all, which made Killer want to end it by himself. He made a sudden movement towards the phone, hoping either that he'd be able to snatch it or that Kid would drop it. He'd rather listen to his whining over damaged property than this incessant flirting. Unfortunately, Kid's reflexes were too quick and he managed to yank the phone into safety.

"I gotta go, Killer's getting impatient with how gay everyone on this ride is. See you soon, genius," Kid said, making a nasty kissing sound before ending the call.

"The only thing I'm impatient with is you," Killer snarled.

"Whatever, homophobe," Kid said, earning a kick from Killer, "ouch!"

"Don't call me that."

"If the shoe fits," Kid said with an obnoxious grin.

Sometimes Killer wondered why they were friends at all. "It does not fit!"

"You're saying if it was life and death you'd suck my dick?"

"It depends on the situation," Killer muttered, trying to prevent outsiders from hearing.

"Guys! Focus! What did he say?" Marco called to them.

"Sorry, sorry," Kid said, though his tone was hardly apologetic, "so get this, my man knows your man and his medical history, according to which," he stopped for a dramatic pause before continuing, "he's got narcolepsy."

"Are you telling me," Marco said in disbelief, "that all this time… he's been asleep?"

Kid shrugged. "Probably. It's a small world, eh?"

"This is unbelievable," Marco muttered.

Without warning the ride jerked back into motion, apparently causing Ace to wake up because Killer could hear his voice behind them saying, "Marco. What did I miss?"

Once they were back on the ground and ushered out of the ride without so much as an apology, Killer wasn't sure if they should just discreetly move along or stay to exchange pleasantries with the guys who'd sat behind them. In the end, Kid made the decision for him by sticking around, probably hungry for some gossip he could share with Law later that night. Disgusting.

"Why didn't you tell me about your narcolepsy? I thought you died!" Marco asked his date in a stern voice.

"Well, you see," Ace said sheepishly, "I was afraid you'd lose interest."

"You think that's who I am?"

"Of course not, you're a good person, great actually," Ace hastened to reassure him, "but I was looking forward to this, I didn't wanna unload my medical history on you before I knew if you even liked me."

"I do like you," Marco said.

That made Ace break into a wide grin. "For real?"

Kid gave Killer a smug look. "What did I say? Marriage."

Only then did Ace seem to realize they were standing there too. "Who are you guys?"

"He called a doctor for you and turns out the doctor already knew you," Marco explained.

"Huh? Who'd you call?"

"You know more than one doctor?" Killer asked.

Ace blinked at him. "Doesn't everyone? But let me guess, based on your looks… it's got to be Law."

"Hey, what's that supposed to mean?" Kid snapped, immediately assuming he'd been insulted even though he didn't really understand how.

Ace held his hands up in surrender. "Oh, nothing, nothing."

Marco seemed downright amused by the whole scene but Killer knew how easily Kid could go from being provoked to full-blown fight mode and he didn't want to have to deal with that mess again.

"We're leaving now," he said, grabbing Kid's sleeve and starting to pull him away.

"Have a good evening," Marco wished them, his arm around Ace's shoulders.

Killer lifted a hand in farewell, trying to block his ears from Kid's stream of, "what do you think he meant by that? What's wrong with the way I look? How do you think he even knows Law?"

Killer resisted the urge to point out how Kid's rambling just made him sound insecure, that would have simply encouraged him to continue. No, the best strategy was to treat him like a child and attempt a distraction.

"Don't you think you should get him a souvenir?" Killer asked as Kid paused to draw in breath.

"Huh? For Law?"

"No, your mom."

"You think you're so funny." Kid scowled at him. "For your information, Law's too classy, anything from this place would be an insult."

"Can't be that classy if he's dating you," Killer pointed out.

"I guess you're right," Kid said, even he wasn't about to argue something so plainly true. "You know, let's get him something hideous."

"Why do I have to be involved?"

"You have better aim than I do, you'll win it for him and I'll say it was me," Kid said, already heading towards a stall with some kind of shooting game.

Killer sighed. "Fine, but you owe me dinner."

"Deal."

With their luck, they'd end up choosing the same restaurant as Ace and Marco but that was a worry for another time, Killer decided.

Rating: T

Words: 1,578

Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Amusement Parks, First Meetings, Getting Together, Haunted Houses, Holding Hands, Fluff

On ao3

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The air was filled with the sickly sweet smell of cotton candy, and all around them children were running around, their piercing screams painfully loud. It was the last place in the world Zoro wanted to be in. He trudged along, one arm hugging the giant plushie he'd finally won after spending about ten times what anyone would consider reasonable—all out of his sister's insistence. It looked ridiculous and made him look ridiculous by association, but he was almost beyond caring at this point. He knew that if he showed Perona the true extent of his suffering she'd want to stay at the park till closing time just to spite him.

"I want to go there next," she demanded, pointing at a building that looked suspiciously like another haunted house.

"Isn't that what we just did?" Zoro asked.

"No, and you'd know it if you paid any attention," she replied in her usual snotty tone.

"Well, it had ghosts and witches, in my book it's all the same."

"I know you don't care, you wouldn't even be here if dad hadn't forced you to babysit me, which is totally unfair and unnecessary, by the way," she said, a whine creeping into her voice towards the end, making her sound like the child she kept insisting she wasn't.

Zoro let out an exasperated sigh. "How do you think I feel?"

"I don't care. Go have a nap on a bench somewhere, old man. I've survived worse places without you."

"Hah. What have you ever had to survive?" Zoro wondered.

He had it in good authority that Perona had wanted for nothing in her entire pampered life.

"Wouldn't you like to know," she said and gave him a significant look that he was probably expected to be able to read.

"So," he said, hoping to avoid a time-consuming argument and to be the bigger person as their dad was fond of advising him, "what's different about this place?"

"You have to walk. And wear these." She handed him a pair of flimsy 3D glasses made of cardboard that the attendant was distributing at the entrance. "The last place was a ride."

Zoro didn't see the point of having two haunted houses in one park just because they were slightly different, it reeked of laziness to him. But by now it was basically a law of nature that he could never be of one mind with his sister. Maybe if she got this ghost stuff out of her system they could do something slightly more interesting. Fat chance, he thought. She's been obsessed with this shit since she was three and watched her first horror movie in secret.

He followed Perona inside and was instantly blasted with loud noises and neon-colored effects through his glasses. It wasn't exactly his idea of scary — nausea-inducing more than anything. Perona on the other hand was in her element, dashing ahead, getting her hands on the potentially germ-infested surfaces of everything while making excited noises.

Clutching the strange stuffed reindeer he hastened his steps trying to keep up with Perona. However, it didn't take long for her to disappear behind a corner and entirely out of sight.

"Hey, wait up," Zoro said, raising his voice to be heard over the background noise. "Perona?" he called out, but predictably received no answer. "Damnit."

He rounded the corner only to come face to face with a mirror maze instead of his elusive sister.

"Who puts a mirror maze in a haunted house?" he asked no one in particular.

He took a step forward, then another—and ran face-first into something solid. He turned around, just to make sure no one had seen his plunder. Luckily for him, there seemed to be no one around. He took a breath, chose a different path, and managed to get about five steps further before hitting his face for a second time. Isn't this place meant for children? he thought, frustrated.

It took him about ten more impacts before he started to envision the rest of his life living in this place, trapped and forced to listen to the badly recorded screams, staring at his own reflection, dying of hunger because he was too proud to ask for help. Not that there was anyone to ask, anyway.

"Are you lost?" Inquired a soft voice behind him, as if summoned by his thoughts.

"Uh," Zoro said, unwilling to admit anything, "no?"

"Okay then! Bye!" the other person said and pushed past him.

"Wait!" He yelled, realizing asking for help now might be less humiliating than having to ask from the staff.

"You are lost!" the other person announced in triumph, turning around and aiming a bright smile at him.

"It's not like that! I'm looking for my sister," Zoro said, though he didn't sound convincing even to his own ears.

"Want some help? I'm Luffy."

"I guess," he said, aiming for nonchalant rather than desperate.

"Great! Follow me, we can look for her outside," Luffy said, already skipping ahead.

To his credit, Zoro did manage to clear more of the maze than on his earlier tries before coming face to face with another wall. I should've turned around the minute I saw this contraption, he thought. If he'd run down some kids going back the wrong way, well, it'd have been a cheap price to pay.

"Hey! I said to follow me," Luffy scolded, having appeared next to him again.

"I was following you!" Why was everyone insisting on blaming everything on him?

"Here, this way you won't get lost again," Luffy said, grabbing ahold of Zoro's hand and pulling him along.

The gesture startled Zoro, making him forget all about his predicament. For the moment, his world shrunk to only include the warm press of the other boy's hand, much smaller than his own. The noises all around him became muffled and it took him embarrassingly long to realize Luffy was addressing him again.

"What was that?" he asked dazedly.

"What's your name?" Luffy turned to look over his shoulder and didn't sound annoyed even though he'd probably had to repeat the question more than once.

"Zoro."

"Zoro," Luffy repeated as if tasting the word. "That's a cool name."

All Zoro could do was nod along stupidly. As if holding a stranger’s hand wasn’t distracting enough, now that they stepped outside into the sunlight he had to face the fact that Luffy wasn’t just friendly, no, he was also incredibly cute.

Luffy made a show of peering around. "What does your sister look like?"

"Look, she's probably not around here anymore, she's been trying to ditch me for hours," Zoro sighed, scratching the back of his head.

"We could ask them to make an announcement. That's what Ace does when he needs to find me."

"Ace?"

"My brother. He gave me this." Luffy held up his backpack and pointed at a garish sticker attached to it. It listed the contact information of one Portgas D. Ace "in case of an emergency".

"That's nice," Zoro said, unsure of how to respond without offending.

"You should get one too," Luffy insisted, his expression almost comically serious.

"Thanks but—" Zoro started to decline because he couldn't think of anything much more humiliating than carrying around a sticker designed for little kids when he was struck by an idea. "I don't know whose information I'd write on it anyway."

Luffy made a face that suggested he was putting conscious effort into thinking. "How about your sister?"

"You and your brother are probably closer than we are. She's not usually the considerate kind."

Luffy fell silent for a while. "Then how about me?"

Zoro couldn't believe his plan was actually working. "Are you sure? You just met me."

"I trust you. You can trust me too," Luffy said with the utmost confidence, "if you want."

"You already saved my life back there, of course I trust you," Zoro offered.

Luffy let out a loud laugh. "Nobody dies in amusement parks!"

Zoro had half a mind to inform Luffy that there had been numerous fatal amusement park accidents around the world, he'd seen videos of more than a few. However, it seemed like it'd be tantamount to a crime to rob him of his joyful innocence so he simply said, "I'm almost dying of hunger now."

"Oh! We should get lunch," Luffy said excitedly before visibly deflating, "I only have five hundred yen left."

Zoro rested his hand on Luffy's shoulder. "Don't worry about it. It's my treat, as thanks for saving my life."

"I saved you because I wanted to," Luffy declared with utter determination.

It was weirdly endearing, his serious response to the whole event. Zoro didn't think he'd ever met anyone like Luffy, someone who was so trusting and friendly, expecting nothing in return. He'd probably have to bring that up, though, just to point out how dangerous it could be to act so trusting around strangers. It might be safest if he made sure Luffy wasn't able to grab anyone else's hand, he mused.

Zoro moved his hand close enough that they were brushing Luffy's palm. Luffy shot him a bright smile, his hand curling around Zoro's without hesitation.

"It's pretty crowded," Zoro reasoned, decidedly not looking at Luffy, "best make sure we don't get separated."

And even if they did get separated, he’d have Luffy’s number soon enough. With that, they'd be able to find each other again.